I didn’t expect it to be this fast. It was just like a year ago, and I’m dwelling on the pain. The blog itself was titled ‘728’ because it’s my own mark of countdown.
Now, it’s down by half.
Who have I become after one year?
Now, I’m on my 6th month at work. My career is blooming faster than I’ve expected. I’m not under the food chain. This is how you want it right? But it’s never easy.
For the past months before I got here, confusion came to life. I worried for the solidity of what I feel for you. There were temptations, uncertainties. I was so scared. But this was part of the big plan.
Now, how are you? How are we? Are we still the same people that we used to be when we’re together? How would our lives be when we cross paths again?
It’s been a year my love. It’s been a year. I’d still be waiting.
I think the days are running slower than how it should be. The first three months were as if it passed on a single day. But this 4th month; and the 1st month of me taking the huge responsibility was slower than the latter months.
It’s too slow. I really wanted to leave. As in. I’m haunted by my mere self. I’m a scaredy cat — and I hate to admit it. Everyone knows that I’m Ms. Too-Tough-to-Backout but this time I’m not.
The past week and this recent one were the worst. Everytime I’m thinking about leaving.I am numbered; I actually numbered myself.
It’s about to end, really. If I am to choose, I really wanted this to end. But where do I go? That’s the big question. Everytime people pep-talks me about my worst case scenario, it’s as if I really wanted to hold on. But counting the remaining days is really a pain. I’m seeing the same remorse being experienced every single day.
They say my efforts would not be credited; nor it would be wasted if I try to leave early. But taking the plight earlier was my only salvation. Though I can last a little longer… but still.
In this, I pray to You, I know You can hear my heart’s little prayer. That I feel the same ‘peace (at least, that kind of peace)’ that I had before this happened. Please.